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5 Reasons Android Games Suck.

Android gaming has come a long way since it was nothing more than a collection of games ported from iOS. Kind of a shame though, that some 5 years after Android gaming has gone mainstream, it still sucks in a lot of ways.

1. Way too many ads.

If you download a game for free, be prepared to be gang-raped in a back alley at 3AM by pop up ads that require a Bluetooth stylus and the precision of a fucking brain surgeon to close without accidentally clicking on the ad. The overwhelming majority of Google Play Games exist for the sole purpose of re-purposing a Unity source code in order to build games around spamming for ad revenue.

Allow me to ask my fellow android gamers a question: How many times have we Android gamers had to sit through -or click out of- a full screen ad after every load screen, menu transition, or even immediately following a death? How many of these games allow you the option of buying your way out of the spam, via some in-game purchases? Not that many, you're probably saying to yourself.

2. Most of the games are clones.

It's believed that at least 99.999999999% of all Google Play games were built using a source code from Unity and ported to the Android platform. This leaves you with 98,765,432.1 of the exact same fucking game, released on Google Play under dozens of different names, and with only slight variations by at least 90 different publishers.

3. Blatant Copyright Infringement.

The vast majority of runners and platformers released by Chinese publishers straight up steal intellectual property from popular North American film studios and video game designers with impunity, while profiting from it via the ad revenue they get by flooding your screen with marketing bullshit. Funny how channels on YouTube can be struck, or deleted via FALSE copyright claims, yet the developers on Google Play can freely engage in flat-out fucking THEFT without management so much as batting an eye.

Of course, this doesn't apply to all Android games, and the ones that don't suck ass usually get the most attention, but it cannot be denied that there is just way too much fucking garbage on Google Play right now.

4. Pay-To-Win Micro-transactions.

This pay-to-win bullshit is when a game developer strategically designs a game with the intent of making it discouraging, or even downright fucking impossible to win without forking over real cash in order to gain a fair, or even mild advantage. Games like Robots and Mobile Strike sometimes make it a requirement to fork over real cash for certain items and weapons, regardless of the progress you make in the game to earn them.

I am not entirely apposed to micro-transactions, but I feel there is a right and WRONG way to go about them. This sort of think should be used as a way to enhance the game play, not become a barrier to it, and the ladder happens WAY too often. This type of bullshit is mirrored in the console and PC mainstream, where pay-to-win DLC is used to patch a partially completed game that you would ordinarily have to pay $60 for anyway.

5. Vast majority of games don't support gamepads.

Point and click gaming may comprise the vast majority of the Android gaming platform, and probably don't need controllers, but games that very OBVIOUSLY DO need gamepad support, such as Racing, Fighting, and even some third-person action games should be fucking REQUIRED to integrate support for a peripheral like that, yet the overwhelming majority don't have that option, leaving you to play games that obviously weren't ideal for touch-screen controls, to be played with nearly %30 of your screen to be covered up by your own thumbs, in a slippery, awkward fucking mess of an experience.

I had recently reviewed The King of Fighters 2015 A for Android on, and I was shocked and baffled to find that It didn't even have basic support for peripherals like game pads or joysticks. KOF was a franchise developed more than 15 years ago by SNK, and they haven't figured out how to get basic Gamepad support for a 15 Year old fighting game? Are you shitting me? SNK is selling the entire NEO*GEO  fighting game library for 4.99 a pop already! Are you telling me they couldn't figure this shit out for those games either?!
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