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3 Things I Don't Like About Your Blog

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I'm going to just cut to the chase. I've been browsing a lot of blogs lately, looking to make interesting conversation, and I gotta be honest: 90% of the blogs I've seen could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Not all of them, mind you, just the vast majority of them have at least one problem that sucks harder than a black hole in Einstein's theory of relativity.

Here is a list of things I don't like about most blogs, and how I think they can be fixed.

  •  Don't try to force me to sign up for a news letter just to see your pages.

If you are a web designer, and the only way someone can view your content is to sign up using their Google+, Twitter, Facebook or Instagram account, You need to take that off right now. Seriously, go into your control panel and remove that shit ASAP.

As a consumer, there is absolutely no way in a frozen hell with flying pigs I'm going to register for a newsletter from a website I know nothing about, just to see content that I don't even know if I'm going to be interested in. I don't even care if your site has free downloadable hardcore pornography streaming in 4K, there is just no way that's going to happen.

New readers are going to avoid your website like the plague the moment they see a pop up ad they can't close, demanding that they register just to read any of the articles on the site, and this is bottle-necking your site's growth potential in a big way.

This shit is enough to make your site look less like a series of articles and more like a malware attack. This underhanded tactic doesn't work, and it's a great way to make new readers treat your website with more disdain than a hypodermic needle filled with Ebola and fucking smallpox.

  •  Don't tell me about your day.
There couldn't possibly be anything in the universe I could give less of a fuck about than your cat, your kids, where you went this morning, or the fact that you just ate a sandwich at TGI Fridays. If you're going to advertise your blog on Google+ communities or Facebook groups, at least have the humility to talk about something other than yourself once in a while. It's your blog; not your journal, and not your Facebook account.

I've got news for you fellas: Nobody knows you. People don't come to your blog because they want to know about your day, they come to your blog because they want to know what you think, what your opinions are,  and perhaps your expertise on a particular topic.

If you're reading this and are still thinking of writing a blog post about your daughter graduating High School, or the fact that you lost your car keys this morning, guess what? Nobody gives a shit. You're not that important, and your dirty laundry is not worth the time wasted reading about it.

  • Stop reporting the news.

I am sick and tired of going on blogs filled with copy-written stories containing nothing but opinions from "experts", or bloggers just acknowledging the fact that the story exists.

You guys are supposed to be bloggers. You're not a journalist. You're supposed to tell me what you think, not what others think, not what the popular opinions are, and not what experts in the field are saying. Nobody is going to your blog to read the New York Times. You can have all the news stories you want in your blog, but don't bother giving us the story if you're not going to give us your take.

I swear, all the bloggers are writing like journalists these days, and all the journalists are writing like bloggers.What the hell is going on?

Anyway, what do you think? What's your biggest blog pet peeve?
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